So I think we all agree that having kids make us fat right?
How else would we be able to grow a full on human in our own body. We have to expand, we have no choice. “I didn’t know I was pregnant “ on TLC tells stories that say different, but face it, that is just freaky sh*t. Those poor women, could you imagine…? Anyway that’s not what I’m getting at here….
I run after my children constantly, pick up toys, laundry, vacuum. You name it, a stay at home mom does it!
So, with all that, I cant figure out why I am not losing my weight. It should be melting off me (ignore that image).
I sit down and I am sharing a little mini serving of my “zero” yogurt with my 1 yr old (don’t worry I checked, no aspartame). I was so proud of my self for not only eating this small portion but sharing it! Then my 6 yr old had a couple bites and I was even more excited.
Then 6yr old wants his own…so I go get it…..then the other one cries and wants his own too.
I then realize in my glory of eating minimal calories maybe I was actually depriving/teasing my poor offspring.
Alright, everyone is happy, they all have there own. I am a good mom and I have my portions under control right?
My older son decides he doesn’t like it so I take on his ¾ full cup of yogurt and I figure I am still doing pretty good… until the lil guy gives up on his. Now I am screwed. I can’t waste it, so what do I do? Like any mom I take on my child’s leftovers. So now I have eaten close to 3 of these portions.
Well at least I’m aware of this and have learned my lesson…or not….
Later that day…. Rice cracker with peanut butter x 2, nice healthy snack….my son tries one and loves it. He asks for another and of course I jump at the chance to feed my child, because I’m a mom and this is what we do.
I decide I’d better make another for myself as well. So we would each have 2 but by the time I get back to him, he has already given up on the first one I gave him… So you do the math… I now have to consume 3 ½ peanut butter rice crackers! This my friends is why I’m not getting any skinnier!
They make you drink way to fast! They see that nice cold bottle of whatever you have in your hand and they want it! So in turn you have to drink fast to get it out of your hand, just so the lil bugger will stop bugging you… and you know what happens if you drink to fast? You get drunk faster… then you probably drink more and just think off all the calories they have just hurried along into your system!
Coffee mugs for all alcoholic beverages! Believe it or not, it does make it taste better!
Oh, and don’t even get me started on the birthday parties we attend with all that cake and the goodie bags with too much candy. We couldn’t possibly let our kids have all that could we?
Obviously I need to learn portio control and moderation but it is always nice to have someone to blame part of it on right?